late night cravings

can sometimes only be solved with some cheese that tastes like butter. yum.

I will just let this other blog do all the talking




bread cheese

I know this is old news but....

"no, no I know Portia de Rossi did a fine reading of Carrie, and I know she is beautiful, but hear me out guys...."


so I guess our parents were right all along. you can do anything if you put your mind to it. or if you sleep with the right person? How this person ended up on a hit HBO ?!?!?!?!?! I am not one to make fun of things people can't help - but lets face it - hollywood is shallow - I mean Angelina Jolie isn't getting all these roles for her acting - ya know what I mean?
I know this topic isn't anything new - and poor SJP has been dragged through the mud - but I seriously do not get it.  I DO NOT GET IT. the person who pitched her to the executives must be one amazing salesperson. id like to shake his hand.

Buy this now part III

Ever had a MINX manicure? amazing. but sooooo $$$$ Sally Hansen has saved us girls once again by introducing Salon Effects. Salon Effects is basically MINX DIY. I bought a pack for $10 at walmart. Easy to use and looks just like MINX! Do yourself a favor and buy it now.

R.I.P. Cap n' crunch

The Quaker Oats Gods have taken one of our best today. Rest in peace dear Cap N'. You gave me delicious crunch berries, and in return only took chunks of the roof of my mouth. Even trade if you ask me. I know you will be forever sailing now in that giant boat in the sky.

um.... two please!

Girls just wanna have fun

 I've always thought Cyndi Lauper was rad. I was in love with her album cover for "She's so unusual".

And I  always dreamed of growing up to be a funky girl of my own and rocking these shoes. (yes you can begin a sentence with the word AND.

And if you would have asked me what I believed NY to be like when I was ten, an image of the three above pictures would come to mind. But I am getting off track here...

anyway.....

back to the point. Cyndi Lauper is a bad ass. Recently she was in an airport where there were multiple cancellations - people were upset and tensions were running high. Whats a spunky gal to do? well take a look for yourself....

What a cool cat.

We all love Banksy

Enjoy this Banksy Simpsons intro

The 8th wonder of the world

                                                                      "Why yes, I do have plans this Saturday night."


While some of us (ahem) are happy that their plants just do not die, others such as Maria Rodrigues de Aguiar Farias of Brazil are blessed with amazing from g_d himself, phallic fruit. Maria charges $2 to see the fruit, $15 to take a picture and $20 for video. All proceeds go towards a new set of dentures for Maria. Ok, ok I am kidding about the last part. Hell, if I had a fruit that big growing in my backyard I'd take out my teeth too, ya know, for the practice!

Love is...

Do you know what love is? Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to.

almost doesn't count

Please pardon our dust.

 

Would just like to apologize to my faithful readers, ahem, reader on the lack of content the past few weeks. I have been away in training for my new job and the intensity of each day has left me with just enough energy for what is known as "vegging out". Your favorite "Sunday Night Movie Review" should return more than likely this Sunday. Your other jibber jabber entries should follow soon after. My brain is mush right now.  I have actually contemplated more than once of how working at an airport counter would be easy, while in reality I do not know yet how true or untrue that may be, I DO know that I never had any idea of the learning and training that those guys have to go through. I am burned out. 

Tomorrow's just an excuse away

"So I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own."


Oh, bald headed Billy. You write such beautiful lyrics, but why you gotta be so cheesy?!

This video seems like a college kid playing with new technique he learned... and using it wayyyyy too long. Anyway, this video is a bit cheesy to me, but the song is one of my all time favorites.

If the time isn't right, then move on.

Rinse and repeat.

The only thing that keeps me motivated at the gym are Britney Spears songs and girl anthems. 

up in the air

ok, so maybe im not jet setting the country firing people, but I am sharing the same hotel life as George Clooney. I am booked at a Holiday Inn Select for job training for 19 days. 19 days. That is a bit of time to be away from "home". But home, I am learning, or should I say feeling, is really where ever I sleep. Where ever I feel comfortable. I like this hotel life. When I get home from a tiresome day of training, my bed is always made for me. My magazines and books that I have carelessly tossed on the table have been stacked and straightened. Someone is breaking in just to clean. It doesn't feel invasive, it feels sweet. If I am hungry, I go downstairs to enjoy the complementary buffet my company has paid for. If I am feeling like something more extravagant, I walk to one of the many restaurants in the vicinity and order like i'm loaded. I get a per diem, so why not? Yes, I like this. The best part? Booking it back to my room and putting up the privacy please sign. A polite and accepted way I am allowed to say "fuck off" around these parts. I've had enough of you, I am going back to my room that was cleaned by an anonymous face, a ghost perhaps.
 

I am staying on the 5th floor. I peer down to the bar sometimes and get to see the myriad of guests. Other airline employees, retirees and random travelers. The jargon on their bag tags are no longer jargon. I can decode them and know where they have traveled from and where their final destination is. Funny how you have no idea how much people can tell about you sometimes.

Being away from home for so long also gives amazing perspective on relationships. Or lack thereof. Sometimes you really need to step away from your chaotic figure 8 loop that you have been stuck on. Only then you can realize there was an exit you could have taken long ago. This job is going to put me in the doorway to endless cities. The amount of people from around the world I am going to meet excites me. This is a new beginning for your heroine. 

All that is going to come to realization in time. But for now the "privacy please" sign goes back up.

Sunday Night Movie Review

 

Before Damien, before The Orphan there was Mervyn LeRoys 1956 shocker The Bad Seed.  Normally it is hard for me to get into old black and white films, due mostly because of the bad over acting. I must admit I did have this on in the background for a good 40 or minutes before I shut my laptop and started really paying attention. The Bad Seed stars Patty McCormack as the nine year old picture of perfection Rhoda Penmark. Rhoda is a living doll of sorts, saying crap to her parents like "What would you do if I gave you a basket of kisses"? to which they reply "I'd give you a basket of hugs". This is the stuff that keeps me away from most old black and whites. That jargon aside, stuff starts getting watchable when people begin to cross Rhoda's perfect curls, dress wearin' side. Bitch don't play. What we get to witness is the budding of a sociopath and serial killer. We are faced as the viewer to answer the questions of what we would do if our flesh and blood began snuffing out the neighbors. The actresses who played the mothers of Rhoda and one of her victims do a brilliant portrayal of what I can only imagine would be the downward spiral one would go down when put in their respective situations. Is Rhoda's behavior due to her upbringing? Hard to imagine when she is saying shit like "basket of kisses" to her parents, is it in her DNA? A natural born killer? Also seems unlikely when  gramps is comin' around looking like he stepped right outta a Norman Rockwell. Well what gives? Well, you gotta make it a blockbuster night and find out.

p.s. cant stand black and white either? Word on the street is that Eli Roth is doing a remake on this.  

This movie gets 3.5 out of 5 dancing MJ's. (pretend there is a half of a dancing MJ)

Buy this now part II

Sometimes in life you go somewhere, or see something that really, really moves you. You are moved so much, you feel a need to share your experience. This has happened to me my friends. I am going to shout it off the blog-tops! Friends this happens to me every time I visit El Rejio. Moved by chicken joint you say? If you even have to say that it is obvious you have never been. El Rejios are stealthly hidden food joints - built next to, or in places you would normally hide your purse/lock your doors and drive past. The one I frequent is adjacent a crummy gas station I wouldn't even consider pumping gas from, in fact today I may or may not have helped someone break into a car while waiting for my chicken. Yeah, I don't want to talk about that part.
          Anyway, as I say in my yelp review of this place, this is the new engagement chicken. Take this stuff home, put it on your own plates and serve it up like your grammy gave you the recipe, your man will be helpless against its powers. This place knows its good because the workers don't bother to pretend to know English, you either give them your best Spanish or just say the number of the combo you want. These aren't your normal shitty combos with fries and a biscuit either. El Rejios combos include an amazing side of beans, just so-so rice (but I will let that slide), a whole f-ing onion, red & green sauce, a stack of corn tortillas, half of a lime ( you are eating chicken wrong if you don't have a lime) and whole perfectly spiced and open flamed chicken. A kissed by G_d himself chicken. Man seriously, your problems melt away when you eat this stuff, you forgive everyone who has ever hurt you when you taste this stuff, for that moment you are at peace with the world. Yeah, it's that good.

Buy this now.

Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil.

Shade : Cruella

One of the top 3 best. reds. ever.

The holy grail of reds. Seamless color, rich pigment, and lasts for hours.  If you don't want to shell out the $24 clams ( I suggest you do) then go with M.A.C.'s Russian Red (looks fab on every complexion) or Ruby Roo (think pinup). M.A.C. shades will run you about $14.50. While all three are really beautiful, I do have to say Nars Lip pencil in Cruella is my favorite. It's something about that velvet texture that goes on smooth and doesn't dry out your lips. If you are going to try and make a statement with bold lip color, don't let that statement be " I put on my lipstick with my left hand while driving." Don't be that girl.  Don't forget to line those lips and use a lipstick primer. Invest in those, b/c they will save you time and again. I used to use Duwops reversible lip liner before I discovered  Sally Hansens invisible lip liner ($6.99) to help the color from feathering. (can be used as a primer too) Job still gets done and at a fraction of the price. As for the primer? I just use some foundation. I never felt the need to buy one specifically for the lips. Regular foundation does the job just the same. Anyway, just thought I would share with you my fav colors, since I've done all the spending for you and those truly are the best. Trust me, I once dished out 50 bones for a lipstick. <----EEEEEK , I know!


oh shit. this post was just supposed to just be about lipstick - but it hurts to see all those fucked up cat eyes going around. The best eye liner ever??? I gotta tell you b/c it's probably something you would never try.  Kat Von D's tattoo liner. It is a liquid pen, and super easy to use. I know your hand does the "momma took too much medicine" crazy shakes (mine does too) but magically these lines come out smooth anyway.  Just trust me, you will thank me later.

Sunday Night Movie Review

Well lovies it's Sunday night and we all know that means Sunday night movie review! Sundays aren't just for hugging that body pillow and snacking on nachos all day long anymore, or er... they can still be that, just now with an A-lo movie review thrown in! Today's movie that I will review is Prachya Pinkaew's 2008 Chocolate.

This movie stars JeeJa Yanin as Zen, an autistic young girl who is able to master martial arts by watching kung fu movies on T.V, playing video games and observing fighters train outside her window. Need I say more? We get to see Zen kick some ass/es as she makes the rounds to collect money owed to her mother by a bunch of bad guys, bad guys who happen to work at some choice locations that make for rad fight scenes. Fun fight scenes and an original story line make this movie a definite go see. Also, as if you needed more prodding to add this to your netflix queue, this movie gives the "breakdance fighting" scene in Zoolander a run for its money.

I give this movie 4 out of 5 dancing MJ's. 

Chapter 33, The New Beginning

So, my mom has done it, I have friends who have done it. Perhaps you have done it? I am about to begin a new chapter in my life - that of having two jobs. Yesterday I went into the office of my boss and let him know of my desire to accept the job that the airline had offered me. Perhaps I should preface how cool and laid back my boss is. I have been temping here at this current job ( with the beverage distributor) since Oct. He had offered me a job back then, but I had to turn it down b/c I had been waiting on an offer from the airline. Anyway, long story short - I have jumped through hoops of fire to be considered for this airline job, and although they have had me on a string for about 6 months now - I still want it. 

 My boss agreed to let me go away for 2 weeks training for this airline gig. Once I know my schedule he says we can talk about changing my hours here to work with what I have there. How cool is that? I am making a 40 hr position into a 20 hour one. I think alot of it has to do with how well we all work together here. It is rare to find a newbie who fits into the group like a well oiled cog, and not to toot my own horn (toot!) that's what we have goin' on here. I like to think of it as latina Punky Brewster gets a job in HR. It lightens the mood a bit - we all get along - and your truly knows how to kick out the work jamz when shit needs to get done. 

So, all that being said - I leave for two weeks for training in Orlando Feb. 2. Needless to say my family is excited about flight privileges they will soon get. They are excited even more though that I finally sound happy on the phone. Go figure.

We will see how I juggle these two jobs. Hopefully the schedules mesh, because I really like the job I am at.

The clouds have finally moved out of my line of sight - and I like the new view.

Two birds one stone? two stones one bird? Whaaa?

(OK, OK so maybe I wont be in that cool of a uniform and I probably won't be able to pose for pics on a wing of a plane, but it would still be fun!)

Major dilemma in A-Lo land. From what I am told we are living in a recession. I was never in a place where I had a plethora of money to blow - so for me, my whole life has been a recession. I am not noticing much of a difference in my living from what it was ten years ago. I guess that is what happens when you fall in the lower class of society.

          Anyway. Today your hero finds herself in quite a predicament. I have been vying for a job at a major airline for about 6 months now. 6 months of background checks, drug testing and physical ability tests. It has been quite a ride. I have been employed by two different agencies while waiting to hear back from this airline. To give you a little background in case you do not know, airlines jobs are hard to land, the benefits are amazing and generally those who work in the airline field make it their career. Free flights (even international) for you and your folks. What better way to say "thanks mom and pop for having me and raising my crappy ass for all these years, and "sorry about the joyride I took in your car that one time" by sending them on a free flight to _____ . I must say my dad quite got excited (and my dad doesn't get excited) when I told him about the parents fly free thing.  Also this company offers great health benefits after only 30 days of employment, profit sharing and 401k matching. Good stuff eh? Problem is the hours are only 20 per week (though I still reap all those benefits for part time). One cannot live off 20 hours in this day and age. --- Oh and the other problem here? I just currently accepted a full time position at another company. This company I am currently working with just "bought" me from my temp agency. I have temped here while I was waiting to hear back from the airline. They liked me so much here at the place I am working now they were willing to work with me on a possible part time position while I worked part time at the airline. Long story short, the airline position fell through. They went with an internal candidate. So naturally I let the company know that I was temping for that I was available. They "bought" me from temp agency which by the way is like a $5k transaction. So I have been here (and happy) and job for about 1.5 weeks. So last night, while out having a beer, I get this call from the airline, offering me a job which would start next month. BIG DILEMMA. fuck. this one company just invested money in me. how do I bring up to them that airline came back in picture? Will they be cool with trying to work with me on a schedule?  Do I hold thier hand while looking into their eyes and say something like "I met the airline first, we have a history and bond that can be unbroken, but I would still like to see you when I have time?" Will they go for that?
Will they say F-You , you ungrateful bitch! After all I did for you! Ugh I'm stressed thinking about the talk I have to do with my boss. It has to be done. I can't pass up this opportunity to work at this airline. Too much rad shit could come of it. Too many crazy airline passengers to deal with, which somehow I am looking forward to. I have been trained well from past jobs to deal with crazies - and being a gold card carrying crazy myself - I speak their language. I will update here to let you know how my talk went. Till then lovies.

Target to re-issue select pieces from past Go International designers

Ladies, mark your calendars! So, so excited about this. On March 13 and running through the 10th of April Target will re-issue 34 dresses from past Go International designers  Luella Bartley, Tara Jarmon, Paul & Joe, Behnaz Sarafpour, Proenza Schouler, Libertine, Alice Temperley, Erin Fetherston, Jovovich-Hawk, Rogan, Richard Chai, Jonathan Saunders, Thakoon, Tracy Feith, Rodarte, Zac Posen and Tucker.

 ( for those of you not familiar with Go International is go HERE.) This is especially exciting because some of these lables are now defunct (luella) <-- which was actually my fav of them all! So if you had your eye on a dress that was sold out - your chance is coming soon. The actual pieces have not been announced yet, but are said to be some of the "best of".  Horray for designers partnering up with mass retailers to give the public affordable fashion!

I cannot express to you how happy I am that this is happening now that I do not rely on public transit to get to Target. Back when Luella was launched I remembering making multiple Luella specific trips to Target on the damn G train - hoping they got new stuff/sizes/ in. Good God do not get me started on the G train.

75% off gems

As you may or may not know, I am a 33 12 year old girl, who loves all things unicorns, horses and stickers. Basically you can seat me in front of a Lisa Frank binder and I will be amused for hours. As a kid, one of my favorite parts of back to school shopping was picking out my new Lisa Frank binder (usually of a unicorn riding a rainbow) from Eckerds. Anyway, back to the point. I recently found these magnetic locker balms at my last trip to Walmart. They were 75% off from xmas. Naturally I bought them. I bought them not even realizing they were magnetic. WTF? That is truly a miracle. When I opened them at home I could not get them to stick to anything - but I wasn't even really mad b/c they still smelled like laffy taffy, jolly rancher, fun dip and nerds. That alone is cool enough for me. When I got to work today I thought to myself... "hey this crap should really stick to crap if it says it should" So i tried again.... and lo and behold I got some nerds and fun dip stuck to the metal part of my desk. This ridiculous display will surely make my new bosses at work realize they truly made the right decision in bringing me on the team.

"Those ninety pounds just crept up on me!"

I am no vision of health (see previous entry regarding hoarding chicken), nor am I a medical professional, but I do know that you should probably not consume more liquids than your stomach has capacity for.

For other reasons on why you may be fat, please visit the ever popular website this is why you are fat.

Birthdays and other such observations

              

(action shot of yours truly - courtesy of Ryan E.)

So yesterday was my 33rd birthday. I don't know about you, but I am terribly excited about 30 days leading up to my birthday and then the anxiety begins to kick in oh, I would say a day or two before. Birthdays, as New Years day are always a little bit if a let down for me. I feel too much pressure to entertain in any circumstance where I happen to be the focal point. So much so, that I will make sure to cut the night short and keep the drinking to a minimum. Perhaps that comes with old age? Or perhaps, it's due to my neurosis. (As you and I get more acquainted you will learn more about my neurosis.)  Anyhow. I took a handful of friends over to http://www.austinrollerrink.com/. Of course no one had gone rollerskating in years and years and that is why it was both fun and funny. The rink itself was a bit of a let down (as most things are in life) and I made sure to yelp about it. I have been on quite a yelp kick lately. What the hell did we do before yelp?

anyway. My point in signing up for this blog today was to express my feeling on free BBQ. Today at work we had some free BBQ. Up until the minute I was informed there was free BBQ I was not hungry. Once I knew there was BBQ and fixings up for the taking I felt famished. I could not get enough. I snuck a plate and tucked it away under a file folder in my office for later (it is my unprofessional opinion that hiding food for yourself is never ever a healthy action) - with zero regard for others who may have not had any yet. What a selfish bitch! Hoarding food as if it's the last I may ever see. Perhaps this is a survival of the fittest? An example of Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection? I am going for the hoarding bitch route.  On that note - I am going to go watch the tube.

Hello There!

Hi, it was suggested by a friend that I start a blog. Me thinks he was suggesting the idea so he doesn't have to hide me and my ramblings on facebook. I always wondered who has hid me on faceook b/c of the inane posts I share. Do people really want to know where I am on any given Tuesday afternoon? I like to think so, but probably not. So here, I shall ramble, post stories, share videos and my opinions (which are often poorly backed by hard facts) with you! Hopefully this helps you pass your downtime as it does me.